How is it for you just now?

The more I practice Zen and the 12 Steps, the more koans seem to stick to this practice. Not a total surprise since koans can stick to any aspect of our lives, not just when we're into the Steps.

I just finished up a 7-day sesshin (retreat) where the koan for the week seemed to dance around Step 10 for me. Then a few days ago at Monday's regular sit, another koan (with my interpretation) opened up my evening. The original koan went like this:

What is Zen?

Attention! Attention! Attention!

There are many koans that ask this question with many different responses. The question this koan asks changed for me:

What is God's will?

Different questions? Perhaps not. I think they are asking the same question of us. This notion may have been planted in my mind from a meeting I went to just before sesshin. I raised my hand and responded to what I believe is God's will. "This very moment is God's will," is what I tried to convey.

In the "Twelve and Twelve" on Step Three (P. 40) it reads, "Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us." Right now. Here it is. This is where my life is. My Higher Power intended for me to notice this very moment. If my mind is anywhere else, then I am not paying attention to what the Universe has offered. Naturally this brings about the revised koan:

What is God's will?

Attention! Attention! Attention!

What are you paying attention to right now?

Bill K.