Steps 8 and 9: "Have You Eaten?" asked Joshu

...continuing from the last posting on Steps 8 and 9 ...

Koan: A monk made a request of Joshu:  "I have just entered the monastery.  Please teach me."
Joshu asked, "Have you eaten?"
"Then," said Joshu, "wash your bowls."  At that moment, the monk had an insight.

"I have just entered..." suggests movement or travel.  The monk has come from somewhere and will eventually leave to go elsewhere.  The road to recovery is like this, a journey.  We are travelers, we are pilgrims, and now we are entering the realm of making amends.

"Please teach me," the monk asks.  The monk seems to have a yearning for learning.  Forgiveness and how to become free are these Steps' lessons.

Joshu asked, "Have you eaten?"  Already the teaching begins.  "Are you hungry" might be what he is really asking.  Those who are hungry for recovery are the ones who make it here.  Steps 8 and 9 are nourishment for the heart.  The people we make amends to respond differently -- sweet or bitter we are nourished none-the-less.

The monk replied, "Yes, I have eaten."  Not only has the monk answered Joshu's uncomplicated question, now he's set himself up for the lesson here, just what he initially asked for.  Yes I have eaten, yes I am hungry, yes I am ready to make my amends.

"Then," said Joshu, "wash your bowls."  Last Friday one person said, "I am the bowl, a vessel of life, my temple, body, mind and consciousness."  Eating from an unclean bowl will cause problems.  I need to clean up after myself, clean my bowl so it's suitable for the next meal.  Another person said, It's the simple process of knowing what to do next."

"At that moment, the monk had an insight."  This happens before we even finish Step 9 -- "...we will be amazed before we are half way through."  Our hearts open, we do have an insight,  "Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change."   This is what we learn, this is what happens to us from doing these Steps.

Bill

8th and 9th Step Koan:  

A woman says to her sponsor, "Please teach me about Steps 8 and 9." Her sponsor asks, "Are you hungry for sobriety?" "Yes I am," said the newcomer.Then go find the first person on your 8th Step list.

Steps 8 and 9: "Have you eaten?"

In a few days, our group will be sitting with Steps 8 and 9,  and this koan.

Step 8:  Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step 9:  Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Koan:  (Case #7, Gateless Barrier)

A monk made a request of Joshu:  “I have just entered the monastery.  Please teach me.”
Joshu asked, “Have you eaten?”
The monk replied, “Yes, I have eaten.”
“Then,” said Joshu, “wash your bowls.”  At that moment, the monk had an insight.

Here are a few questions that may stir things up for you:

1)  "I have just entered..."  Where are we entering with Steps 8 and 9?
2)  What am I being taught when using these Steps?  What do others teach me?
3)  "I have eaten..."  How do these Steps nourish me?
4)  Then, what do we do next?

Bill

Everything is Best, Part II

Early in August, I was asked to sit "up front" this Monday and give the evening talk.  As I began preparing for this, I had a different koan in mind; then it came to me that the koan we used on "12 & Zen" Friday might be the best one to use.  What follows here is pretty much what I plan to say on Monday.

When Banzan was walking through a market he overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer.
“Give me the best piece of meat you have,” said the customer.

“Everything in my shop is the best,” replied the butcher.  You cannot find here any piece of meat that is not the best.”

At these words Banzan became enlightened.

(He came to a realization)

Perhaps you’ve heard of the First Noble Truth = Suffering.  Life is suffering. To be human is to suffer.  Why?  The Second Noble Truth tells us why -- Suffering is caused by craving, our attachments…

“Give me the best piece of meat you have,” he asks.  Isn’t this a perfect setup for suffering?

         I’m hungry          …craving
         I want food          …craving
         I want the best    …craving “squared”

The BEST … It's a loaded word for us.  Even Banzan.  I can picture him whispering under his breath, “Oh do I love pork chops…they are the best cut.” And he might go on thinking how he hates liver.

My friend Jim and I talk camera stuff a lot.  We usually carry our small cameras everywhere.  A few years ago just before  we began doing this, Jim had a very capable compact Casio camera.  But I bought a Canon SD700.

Later on, Jim liked what he saw in my little Canon camera and bought the latest version, the SD 800.  No longer did he see the Casio as the best.

But when it comes to our large SLR cameras, Jim and I agree that Nikon is the best.  Since 2008, we’ve been very pleased with the Nikon D300.  That is, until Jim recently bought a Nikon D7100.  Now my D300 doesn’t seem to be the best anymore.

This is what we do when BEST enters the mind; probably beginning with the caveman looking for the best club or the cavewoman looking for the best grinding stone.

“Everything in my shop is the best,” replied the butcher.  EVERYTHING? How could everything in his shop be the best?  A sales gimmick, right?  He wants to sell all his meat that day.  He wouldn’t say this flank steak is best but those short ribs aren’t so good.

From the butcher's perspective, everything could be the best.  What if, to every customer, the butcher picked out the best piece of meat available….

·          I’d like a T-bone   – he’d pick the best T-bone.
·         The best chicken thigh – he’d pick the best chicken thigh.

…until finally there is only one piece of meat left; but it, too would be the best piece available.  Using his butcher skills, he could choose each next best piece of meat.  Maybe he’s onto something here?

But if I’m the customer, how do I know for sure I’m getting the best?  There’s that little nagging doubt.  Can we ever really know what is best?  Can anything actually be the best?

When I was 19 years old, having less than stellar grades at Colorado State, they requested that I not return the following year.  With the Viet Nam War going on, I joined the Naval Air Reserves instead of the possibility of being drafted.  It meant only 6 months of active duty, one weekend each month for 5 years, and two weeks each summer.   This was the best thing for me, yes?

In January of 1968 the North Koreans captured the USS Pueblo.  This became known as the Pueblo Incident.  I was just 25 at the time, now going to Humboldt State College. I was raising my grade point average, obviously college was the BEST thing for me, and I had just met this girl named Beth…and … My reserve unit was recalled to active duty!  Bummer.  Not good.

As it turned out, being recalled turn out to be one of the best things.  (1) Beth and I married in the summer of 1968; (2) my active duty turned out to be only one year, (3) all at NAS Alameda; and (4) I received the GI Bill which helped pay for the remainder of college.


Worst can turn out to be the best.

Best can turn out to be the worst.

"You cannot find here any piece of meat that is not the best.”

First this koan draws us (and Banyan) into the world of duality with the word BEST.

Everything is best!  How could that be?  Now great doubt enters.

"You cannot find here..."  HERE …  That’s it!  "At these words Banzan became enlightened."  He got it! He woke up.  He experienced “Best” without words.

We have everything we need right here.  Just this!  Or in this case, everything that the butcher offered.

Craving, reaching, grasping, pulling things into my life, holding on, knowing the answer – does not bring me happiness.

Nor a closed or narrow mind, excluding things from view  -- There's an old Chinese saying: “Don’t slander the sky by looking at it through a tube.”  This will not bring happiness and contentment.

What we call BEST or WORST, could instead become:

·      Good enough.

·      It could be worse.

·      A glass half full.

Give me the best, right here, but everything is the best -- This is what Banyan experienced.

What was the best thing that came to you here?

Bill

Everything Is Best, Part I

Scrub Jay Babies

These Scrub Jay babies.  I discovered them in a maple tree by our front porch.  The nest seemed to be placed in a perfect location -- the best location -- away from predators still hidden amongst the leaves.  Each day I would
take a peek at them to see how fast they were growing.

This month's koan:

When Banzan was walking through a market he overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer. 


"Give me the best piece of meat you have," said the customer.

"Everything in my shop is the best," replied the butcher. "You cannot find here any piece of meat that is not the best."

At these words Banzan became enlightened.


We just met last Friday for 12 & Zen and here is the koan we used.  This was our "Pot Luck" evening where all of the Steps were available.  I asked everyone to see what koan appears when sitting with this koan.

Step 7 came to several people.  When we truly ask our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings, aren't we doing this to become the best person we can be? 

Another person said everyone is the best.  It reminded them of the koan about having no rank ... being a person among persons, which morphed into Step 9 when we make our amends.  We're just humans trying to make things better for all.

If he says it's best, then it is the best.  And who else offers us nothing but the best?  Our Higher Power.  This was Step 3 for her, trusted her God, the butcher.

One Flattened Toad

Three words in this koan stood out for me:

Best
Everything
Here

Best has such a charge to it.  So does worst.  We seem to place ourselves in either of these camps, depending upon circumstances. And just when we are sure of ourselves, we find where one of the worst things in our lives turned out to be one of the best things -- or one of the best things (we thought) turns out to be one of the worst.




Then one morning I peeked into the bird nest only to find that ALL the babies were gone!  Nothing
left.  No feathers because they had not yet developed them.  Just guessing that it was a neighbor's
cat.  Or it could have been a crow or raven.  I guess that wasn't the best place to build a nest.  Then
again, whatever ate them had the best of meals.

On one of my daily walks, I came across the dead toad in the road.  I'm glad we have toads in the neighborhood.  I've been known to "rescue" them and take them back to my garden.  Not the best
outcome for this one.  But I was attracted to the colors of the guts and gore; somehow they seemed vibrant and alive.   The best of colors against the road's asphalt.

A few days later I came across another toad, this one of the toad-bank variety.  Everything about this toad made it the best one of the day.

What IS the best Step?  This reminded me of what I once heard at a meeting where a person said, "If we could do Step 3 perfectly, we wouldn't need any of the other Steps."  But we can't do anything perfectly, so every Step is the best. 

I'm not making light of this.  You cannot find here any Step that is not the best. Every Step is best when we are using it in our lives.  What is best for us then is what is right happening here.

To be continued...

Bill

Step 7: Confusion, Stress, Accomplishment, and Relief

It's been a busy few weeks; but well worth the effort.  Stressful effort at that.

Steps for Anyone:

The Monday night "teacher" was yours truly.  Following up on my last posting on June 9th, we had a group of about twenty people attending where Step One was offered in three different versions.  This was less about me talking and more about an opportunity to show the group how we do "12 & Zen" once a month.  And that we did.  We all sat with one's Step One of the day, meditated with the tigers and the strawberry koan, and then had our discussion.  I think the discussion went OK but not to the depth or intimacy that happens with 12 Step people.  A good evening none-the-less.

Now in Paperback:

Over the last six months, I've been adding to my book, Twelve and Zen -- When the 12 Steps Meet Zen Koans.  It's about 25% larger and it feels more complete now.  Re-submitting the eBook version was exasperating.  I don't follow directions well, especially since some of the technical jargon is foreign to me.  But eventually the eBook version was accepted and available at the Kindle Store.

The good news here is that there is now a paperback version that was published via CreateSpace.
This book is sold at Amazon Books.  Again, a real struggle for me.  The first time I submitted the book it came back "There are 7 errors that need correcting."  Type, type, type, resubmit -- "There are 5 errors that need correcting."  Gasp!  Type, type, type, resubmit -- "There are two errors that need correcting."  You get the idea.  Eventually it was accepted and ready for sale.  The best thing about paperbacks is all the room in the margins for scribbling notes.

A link to both:  http://tinyurl.com/mky4kcy

Yesterday We Humbly Asked:

Our usual "12 & Zen" met yesterday evening, sitting with Step Seven.  Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Koan:  "What is the Way?  A clearly enlightened person falls in a well."

When we are humble, aren't we giving up our control of matters?

What is the Way?  Our group had many Ways, just the way I expected.  Everything from the BIG Way to the way things happened today, the way we make our choices.

We all agreed that we are already enlightened, but we don't seem to be aware of this in our daily lives. So of course we can and do fall into wells all the time.  In the falling we have no control.  Our "wells" take many forms but they are all about the unknown.

Confusion, stress, accomplishment, and relief, otherwise known as living... I do feel relief today, with a good sense of accomplishment and lots of gratitude,  knowing that this Path we are sharing is a good.

Bill K. 

Twelve Steps For Everyone?

My "Study"

Here I am, typing away about something that hasn't happened yet.  Next month I may be giving a talk to our regular PZi Monday evening gathering; and they've asked me to talk about this 12 & Zen project of ours. As the old Chinese saying goes, "Talk won't cook rice," 12 & Zen is a practice, not something to be talked about.  Here are my plans...well, maybe not exact plans, at least notes though.

Members, non-members, people who are curious about PZi, this will be a group made up of all sorts of people, and not just those who have a 12 Step practice.  Lucky for me that there are other renditions of the 12 Steps available, Steps coming from a different source.  Here are three examples of Step One:

• (From AA) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

• (A Zen Practitioner’s Twelve Steps by Roshi Bernie Glassman) I admitted I was powerless over my attachments to my ego and not in control of my actions.

• (12 STEPS FOR ‘NORMAL’ PEOPLE by Herb Eko Deer at Sweetwater Zen Center)  Admit we have issues and we are un-happy because of them.  Herb’s group sits with his steps as if they are koans.

Of course I’m not about to tell everyone that are addicts; so I plan to give them this from Dr. Andrew Weil: I maintain that the essence of addiction is craving for an experience or object to make yourself feel all right…I also feel that addiction is something that’s fundamentally human; it affects everybody. Or explained in another way, we all have our addictions.  There are small "a" addicts and there are capital "A" ADDICTS in this world.  We get to choose who we are!

The Buddha said life is suffering. We suffer because of our attachments.  The suffering he was talking about is when we think something is missing or not "right" in our lives. Dr. Weil uses the word cravings.  Step One is how we can address our cravings, no matter what kind of life we have led.
Just as we do on our 12 & Zen evenings, I will ask everyone to sit with one of these Step One examples (or any part of all of them for that matter).  Then I’ll introduce the koan for the evening.

Koan:  You are being chased by a tiger.  Coming to a cliff, you grab the root of a wild vine and swing yourself over the edge. The tiger you were fleeing from is sniffing at you from above; at the bottom of the cliff is another tiger waiting to eat you.  Only the vine sustains you.

Two mice, one white and one black, little-by-little start to gnaw away the vine.  Nearby you see a luscious-looking strawberry.  Holding tightly to the vine with one hand, you pluck the strawberry with your other hand and pop it in your mouth.  How sweet it tastes.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

The Steps are not complicated

What is this tiger you’re running from?                             
The tiger below, waiting for you, where is it in your life?

Who are the two mice and what are they doing?

What is your strawberry?


                                  ---

I told a friend what I was planning to do, showing her these alternative Steps, and she replied, “Well those steps are pretty interesting, and from a seasoned 12 stepper, they seem like an easier softer way to investigate. Which is fine, if the person is not faced with an alcoholic death :)”  I assure you that I don’t intend to dilute what 12 & Zen is doing here by using “different” Steps than the originals.

But still, a little voice is reminding me how people find their way into 12 Step groups. I’ve met alcoholics who began their journey in Al-Anon because they thought it was the “other” person in their life who had a problem with alcohol; but after hearing the stories there, they realized that they just might be the alcoholic.

By offering this mixed audience the opportunity to practice sitting with these three varieties of Step One, anything can happen.  One person may begin sitting with the “normal people’s” Step but end up with the AA Step. Another person my resonate with the "Zen" example.  And still another person may simply come to terms with their small “a” addiction.  It’s all good.

- - -

For your reference, here are the two examples of alternate Steps.



A Zen Practitioner’s Twelve Steps



1. I admitted I was powerless over my attachments to my ego and not in control of my actions.

2. I came to have faith in an Enlightened Way.

3. Without understanding it, I made a decision to practice an Enlightened Way.

4. I made a searching and fearless assessment of my ego.

5. Together with my sponsor, I made a commitment to a personal Zen practice.

6. I came to realize this practice as a lifetime discipline.

7. I came to realize the importance of seeing the effects of ego-centered actions.

8. I came to realize the importance of the role of forgiveness.

9. I made a commitment to work on my relations with others.

10. I started to study the role of personal reflection.

11. I made a commitment to deepen my realization of the Enlightened Way.

12. Having raised the Bodhi Mind, I came to realize that a commitment to serve others is an expression of the Enlightened Way.

This version of the Twelve Steps is an adaptation from the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was created by Roshi Bernie Glassman in 1987 at the Zen Community of New York as part of a study program.


12 STEPS FOR ‘NORMAL’ PEOPLE

1) Admit we have issues and we are un-happy because of them

2) Become willing to do these steps, believing we can heal if we do

3) Let go of “controlling” our issues, ask for help with them

4) Make a thorough list of all the resentments we have caused or have gotten, listing our part in them as well as our issues and triggers around them

5) Share this list with someone who can support and encourage us in this process

6) List our emotional issues and triggers, taken from the 4th step

7) Ask for help with these issues

8) Make a thorough list all the people we’ve hurt, especially those mentioned in the 4th step

9) Apologize to them all, making amends appropriately, unless it would cause more harm than good.

10) Continue these steps regularly, perhaps daily, as a spiritual practice

11) Meditate and pray about this process, letting go of selfish goals

12) Help others to heal their lives

 You may find more information about Herb Eko Deer's project:

http://zencomprehensible.com/12-steps-for-normal-people/

And one more thing, if you've been wondering how to introduce 12 & Zen to your entire Zen community,  throwing out a wider net like this may be worth trying.  Let me know how it works for you.

Bill K.

Step 5: Sword, Coral and the Moon

Step 5:  Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Koan:  “What is the blown hair sword*?  Every branch of coral holds up the moon.”

---  *A blown hair falling on this sword is cut in two…a sword that can cut through anything.

We had 12 people attend our 12 & Zen last Friday.  I could tell by the group's comments that this koan had wide-spread affects...and in the overall picture, we were all on the same page, as if each other's comments kept building upon the others.

First the sword.  One person made no bones about it.  The sword cut through all the BS that had been a part of her life.  Now she was revealing herself to her sponsor in a way like no other, revealing the truth about things she had done and the people she had hurt.  I couldn't help notice people nodding their heads in agreement. 

No one likes to admit his or her faults, so the decision to even tackle this Step is also an example of cutting through. 

"Every branch."  Several brought up the community aspect of coral.  So it wasn't one coral organism doing all the holding, it was the community that we refer to as coral doing this.  Just as a 12 Step community is holding up us all.  We have  individual 12 Step members, all of which help the fellowship to prosper and grow.  Another talked about ever branch referring to admitting every "wrong".  Not picking and choosing the easy ones.  Leaving out the more egregious ones, we know will lead to relapse.  It's  like leaving out important building blocks which lead to weakness in structure. 

"Holding up the moon."   For one it about holding one's practice.  I hold my practice and at the same time the community is holding everyone's practice.  Some thought of the moon reflecting upon the ocean as reflecting willingness to complete this Step.  Others referred to the moon as a beacon of light ...lighting out path to recovery.

And then is was all drawn together, in a way, where the branch became a newcomer.  The moon was his/her sponsor.  The newcomer may be thinking, "This is all for me."   Whereas the sponsor knows it is not only for the benefit of both, it's absolutely necessary for the survival of all 12 Step members.

- - -

At the beginning of each month I send out an email reminder to more than 50 people.  It includes the Step we will be sitting with and the koan.   A few people have committed to coming every month, others in spurts, and still others but occasionally.   And there are others who have never come -- still they receive a monthly koan and I'd like to think even in these cases the koan may have an effect on them. 

Bill K.